If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
