and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
