it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
