I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
