i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
