1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
