party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
