So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
