if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
