3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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