i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
