he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My feet surprised me
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