Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dicks are not precious.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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