i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
