No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
