batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize