take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
