Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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