I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Buhtt sex?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
