Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
