apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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