D3 body, D1 cock
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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