Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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