She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We had sex on a dog bed..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
