omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
