I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have aggressive nipples.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
