hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
