I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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