i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
