she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
