I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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