please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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