Screwed.edu
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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