Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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