I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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