i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
