i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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