If i come over, it means nothing
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
