Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
