it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
