If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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