I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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