Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
