is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize