every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
