Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
