Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
as a side note pls kill me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
