I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Houston, we have a blender
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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