Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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