So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel like abortions should bother me more
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
