will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize