i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
