so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the day after is always just damage control
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
