he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
