I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
