I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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