Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
